Is hidden perfectionism holding you back?
To many people, perfectionism is a positive. Mistakenly seen as an achievement and a pursuit of excellence, we tend to believe that aiming for perfection allows us to reach our goals and be efficient, organized, and prepared. However, perfectionism can have the opposite effect.
In an interview with "The Atlantic Monthly" about his book, If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy?, Raj Raghunathan talks about how the need for mastery and being the best at something is holding us back.
Perfectionism is a paradox that causes us to set high expectations that can be motivating and exhausting simultaneously. Here are some experiences to help recognize if perfectionism might be standing in your way:
Fear of failure or mistakes. Equating failure or errors with a lack of personal worth.
Fear of being exposed. Others seeing your flaws links to a fear of no longer being accepted.
Being perfect is a way to protect yourself from criticism, rejection, and disapproval.
All-or-nothing mindset. Feeling worthless if accomplishments are not met perfectly.
Overcompensating and overdelivering. Excessively giving in a manner to try to ensure nothing goes wrong.
Constant Checking and Reassurance Seeking. Seeking reassurance from others to ensure you've done tasks well.
Love of Organising and Lists. Spending so much time getting organized that it interferes with getting tasks completed.
Procrastination or avoidance: Putting off or avoiding doing things for fear of not meeting your own high standards.
Sound familiar? Here's a simple exercise to try out the next time you're experiencing perfectionism with any endeavor, big or small.
Grab a piece of paper and write the question: What would happen if I did? Write everything that comes into your mind, all the possibilities that might occur.
Then write the opposite question: What would happen if I didn't? Reflect on what could happen if you let perfectionism hold you back. What if you don't take this step forward? Visualise what would that look like and write down everything that comes to mind.
Reflecting on questions alone or with a coach can help you manage perfectionism in a healthy way and explore what it is for you, where it came from, and what purpose it serves.
Want to find out how The Nest can help you start to unravel the root cause of perfectionism and reach your goals?