How to learn from your younger self.
Although we may tell ourselves that the past is in the past or brush aside the ways we were hurt, our history continues to affect us in countless unconscious ways.
Some of you may struggle to recall a traumatic moment; for others, the list will be long. While it's common to disregard what happened to us when we were younger as unimportant once we become adults, the truth is that even a tiny rejection can feel like a serious threat to a child. That's because children interpret their unique experiences differently. Something significant for one child may not impact another as intensely.
Our unique childhood experiences integrate into our sense of self, whether big or small. They make us feel as if we are not enough and unlovable, causing us to believe that we must be self-reliant.
So, knowing each of these experiences shapes how we see the world, how can we revisit the past and uncover growth opportunities? Approaching our memories with calmness and curiosity can allow us to find behavioral patterns and insights to craft our future.
Here's a creative exercise to get you started.
Make an inventory of your life experiences.
Taking the time to slow down and reflect on the experiences that have shaped us is a crucial way to learn about ourselves. Begin by making an inventory of key things that have happened throughout your life on a blank piece of paper. Starting with your earliest memory, work through your life in blocks of five years. Note down anything that comes to mind, big or small, positive or negative.
Dig deep into the narrative of your story.
The stories we tell ourselves impact who we are and set the parameters for what we believe we can achieve. Look over your inventory of life experiences. Pick them apart, and weave them back together. Don't just state what happened. Add why it was important to you, how you felt and how it might have influenced what followed.
Connect the dots & identify your patterns.
Now, looking at your narrative, try to identify any patterns you see forming. Reflect on each of the events you've listed and ask yourself how they might have impacted one another? Look for common threads and try to connect the dots. Is there a similar thought or emotion appearing? Perhaps there is a limiting belief that guided your decision? Write down anything you notice as you see them together.
Gift your younger self your wisdom.
Review your notes and distill that list down to the most significant insights. Reflect on your younger self, and come up with two to three pieces of advice you would give them now. Now, considering this advice, answer the following question in your journal. How would my current situation be different if I wholeheartedly followed this advice?
Taking the time to learn from every part of yourself can open the door to radical self-acceptance, forgiveness, and wisdom. As children, our experiences may shape who we become, but as adults, we have the power to choose the stories we take forward.
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